


To Know Oneself

by MollyRenata



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, It Makes Sense in Context, Masturbation, Other, alcohol mention, there's sorta background yukiko/chie but not enough for a ship tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:35:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27466555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MollyRenata/pseuds/MollyRenata
Summary: Teddie is a very curious little otherworldly entity. Yosuke is his unwilling tutor.Weird things happen that Yosuke is definitely not prepared for.
Kudos: 8





	To Know Oneself

**Author's Note:**

> This is an idea spawned from a conversation with a friend of mine. I have no excuse for any of this.

* * *

It was the third day in a row that Teddie had asked Yosuke to teach him more about _scoring._ He had asked multiple times each of those days, and had no regard whatsoever for where they were when the question was asked, meaning that Yosuke had been embarrassed repeatedly by Teddie while they were both on the job. Junes was just about the _last_ place Yosuke wanted to be asked a question like that, but he had always known it was a potential hazard with the two of them working there.

By the evening of this third day, Yosuke finally gave in. He was tired of the constant humiliation, and he knew that Teddie wouldn't give up until he got what he wanted. The stupid bear was just _like that_ \- annoying and persistent _one hundred percent of the time,_ and because he was a Shadow, there were a lot of things he still didn't understand about humans or the human world. Teaching him was a slow process, as he only seemed to pick up on things that he found interesting... such as _this._

Sometimes, Yosuke wished that the whole murder mystery from last year hadn't happened. That way, Teddie would never have met Yukiko's Shadow, and he would never have gotten this obsession with _scoring_ from her. He would've just stayed a useless bear in the TV world, never coming to this side, and- wait, no, Yosuke _didn't_ want that. The part about the mystery never happening, at least - that was how he'd met his friends, and it had given him something to do in this backwater town. He'd been able to grow as a person thanks to the case, even if it _also_ meant he now had the most obnoxious roommate that ever lived.

Well, might as well make the most of the situation. A while ago, Yosuke had discovered a very _strange_ video on his computer's hard drive, and he had no idea where it had come from; it featured Chie and Yukiko in a very... _compromising_ situation, and the background looked rather familiar - it was the dungeon that had been created in the TV world when Yukiko was thrown in, meaning that perhaps this video was an unreleased episode from the Midnight Channel's broadcast. Disturbing as it was, Yosuke's teenage hormones ensured that he'd ended up rubbing one out to it a few times, and while that always left him feeling horribly guilty, he couldn't deny the fact.

At least Teddie was naive enough not to find fault with it, and if they were lucky, it might get him off the girls' backs. Of course, there was always the possibility of things going the _other_ way, but Yosuke figured it'd be better to teach his friend with something familiar - something that was likely to get him going, so that they could get this over with and leave it behind to be forgotten until the end of time.

Now, Yosuke sat in his room at his computer, glancing back at Teddie to make sure he was watching. Nervous as he was, Yosuke had to bite the bullet sooner or later, and he took a deep breath as he reminded himself that this was all in the name of _education,_ as well as shutting Teddie up. He booted up the computer, and waited for it to go through the paces; in the meantime, he turned back to his roommate, who looked rather confused at the moment.

...Wait a minute. Teddie had seen Yosuke's _stash_ before - it was hard _not_ to when they lived together and Teddie was a nosy little punk. Hadn't that been enough to... clearly _not,_ if he was asking about this. The guy really _was_ clueless, and that meant there was a possibility that _animated_ porn wouldn't get the message across either - but it was worth a try.

"So, uh." Yosuke thought back to a certain embarrassing incident that had occurred during Golden Week, when his best friend Yu had visited for the holidays. "You know my, um. My _nurses._ "

It was the absolute _last_ thing he wanted to talk or think about, _ever again,_ but it was the easiest way to get Teddie to understand. After a slight delay, the blond nodded, tilting his head to the side - it would have been rather cute, if this wasn't _Teddie._

"I remember like it was yesterday," Teddie said, and his expression turned grim. "All those beautiful babes, burnt to a crisp... it was un _bear_ able! And yet, you held them close to your-"

" _Can you not?_ " Yosuke groaned, pressing a hand to his forehead. "...Well, uh. I'm gonna show you a video that's... well, it's _kinda_ like that, but it's..." He struggled to find a way to explain it to Teddie - maybe it would be better to _show,_ rather than _tell._

"You mean, you have more nurses in there?" Teddie made his way over to the computer, and stared at the screen, confused again. "I don't see any. Where are they, Yosuke?"

"Enough with the nurses!" Yosuke looked away from Teddie, attempting to hide the fierce blush on his face - he was sure that his efforts were failing miserably. "...Anyway, hang on a moment. Let me just..."

He went to pull up the video, and braced himself for the nagging guilt that laced his thoughts whenever he saw it. If Chie found out about this, she'd probably never speak to Yosuke again; at best, she'd leave him with one last kick in the nads, and that _wasn't_ something he wanted to experience again. The odds of her finding out were... not _zero,_ but-

"Is that... Chie-chan and Yuki-chan?" Teddie leaned in even closer, his eyes glued to the screen. "Wow, they're totally naked!" He paused, curiosity invading his tone. "...What's that thing Chie-chan is wearing?"

Fortunately, he either didn't notice the background, or didn't care about it. Yosuke had been certain that, as a resident of the TV world, Teddie would have recognized one of the numerous dungeons that had popped up during last year's incident - but he seemed more interested in the two girls, and the fact that Chie was wearing a rather impressively sized strap-on.

It almost made Yosuke jealous - but like _hell_ was he going to envy a nonexistent sex toy. His endowment was _just fine,_ and it was _real,_ which the fake Chie on the screen couldn't say.

"It's, well, uh." Yosuke _really_ didn't want to do this, but he knew that Teddie wouldn't stop pestering him if he didn't explain _everything._ "It's called a 'strap-on'. It's something that girls use to compensate for the fact that... well, that they don't have dicks. Y'see..."

He waited for the video to elaborate for him, as the fake Chie pinned the fake Yukiko down on the floor and kissed her. A moment later, that long, thick toy slid inside the black-haired girl, eliciting a silent cry from her - the video didn't have audio, and maybe that was for the better.

"So this thing I have between my legs..." Teddie slid one hand down, hooking his thumb in the waistband of his pants. "...I have to put it in a girl to score with her?"

"Uh, _sure,_ let's go with that," Yosuke muttered, unwilling to correct him. He _seemed_ to be getting the gist of it, and that was what this was all about, so hopefully this meant that they could both put this incident behind them soon. For his part, Yosuke's body had started to rebel against him, and he knew that he'd probably have to take care of that _later,_ when Teddie wasn't around-

"It's making me feel so hot..." Teddie used his other hand to fan himself. "...I'm going to get _bear naked..._ hey, Yosuke, what should I do...?"

Oh, _crap,_ he was starting to get turned on. Yosuke _tried_ to formulate a reply, but the words died on his tongue when he saw that Teddie was, true to his word, stripping - and this time, he didn't have his mascot suit to hide his private parts. Yosuke wasn't sure if it was a good thing that he had those in the first place, given his... _tendencies._

"...You can use your hand," Yosuke blurted out, without thinking. "Just... rub it. Like-"

To his abject horror, Teddie seemed to understand the advice, and once he'd removed the last article of his clothing, his hand started prodding around his groin. It didn't take long for him to slide his fingers around his arousal, and his eyes fluttered shut as he began to touch himself right in front of Yosuke, with absolutely _no_ regard for the fact that _Yosuke_ had never done this in front of _him._

"...What's this feeling...?" Teddie sounded awed, as if he'd just found the Holy Grail itself. "I'm so hot... it's so nice, I can't _bear_ it...!"

This was _definitely_ going to take the number one spot on the list of most disturbing things Yosuke had ever experienced in his life. He stared, slack-jawed, as his roommate explored his body - a body that hadn't existed before, created more as a vessel to interact with the human world than anything, and it was a mystery as to why it seemed to function exactly like a regular human body in most ways. This was just one of the many things about Teddie that were still unknown, but _one_ thing was clear, and that was the fact that he was _enjoying_ playing with himself.

Maybe a little _too_ much, if the way he braced himself against the desk and breathed out a soft moan was any indicator. Undeterred by the presence of his benefactor, Teddie increased the pace of his stroking, his legs trembling as he bucked into his own hand - it was a miracle he could stay standing like this, but Yosuke had long since given up on questioning anything about Teddie.

"...What's happening to me...?" Teddie's usual carefree nature had dissipated, swept away in the desperate tide of lust that he now experienced. "I'm burning up... I feel like I'm going to burst at any moment...!"

And he was positioned in such a way that, when he finished, it would _definitely_ get all over Yosuke. Though he'd been too paralyzed with shock and horror to move before, Yosuke realized now that he needed to get out of the way before something truly _unspeakable_ happened - he catapulted himself out of the chair and stepped away, though he couldn't tear his eyes away from Teddie, to his infinite chagrin. He would've preferred watching that weird video... which had long since ended, but that clearly didn't matter at this point.

Mere moments after Yosuke escaped to safety, Teddie doubled over, crying out as his hand's movements became erratic - and then something _unbelievably weird_ happened. It was clear that he'd experienced his first-ever orgasm, but what poured forth from him wasn't anything like human seed; instead, each pulse of his shaft scattered particles of light in the air, almost like glitter, and they shone in all the colors of the rainbow before dissipating as if they'd never existed.

**What. The. Hell.**

Yosuke knew that Teddie wasn't human. During their first encounter, the Shadow turned interloper in the human world didn't have a body at all, unless one counted the mascot outfit; even after gaining his human body, Teddie had confused the doctors that inspected him, showing bizarre and inexplicable results on the tests. Something like _this_ \- it was _beyond_ insane, and all of the reluctant arousal that Yosuke had developed in response to the video dissipated as a throbbing headache rose within him in response to what had to be by far the single most unbelievable thing he had witnessed in his entire life.

Never mind the fact that Teddie had just shamelessly jerked off in front of him - _why had he ejaculated **sparkles!?**_

"...I need a drink." Yosuke closed the movie player on his computer, and made his way over to his bedroom door. What he _really_ needed was alcohol, but as he was still underage, that wasn't something he could get his hands on; hopefully, a nice cold soda would suffice instead.

"Wait, Yosuke!" Teddie, as usual, was _completely_ oblivious to his friend's plight. "Is this going to help me score?"

Yosuke didn't answer, and instead slammed the door shut on the way out of his room. To say that he was _done_ with today would have been the biggest understatement ever - and he didn't even get to jerk off himself.

There was one _small_ glimmer of hope in all this, and that was the fact that maybe, _just maybe,_ Yosuke would never open that video again, due to its association with what had to be the worst night of his life.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> ...I really wrote this.


End file.
